Going crazy towards the end – or is this nesting?

I think some pregnant women go a little bit crazy towards the end. Or at least this pregnant woman feels like she might be.

My head is full of baby and it’s exhausting trying to start conversations with Laurence with phrases other than “Before the baby comes…” and “When the baby comes…”

As it’s having a fantastic impact on my domesticity, I don’t think he’s about to complain. My second loaf of bread is baking as I type and I defrosted lamb mince, sausages and a chicken yesterday, which I’m about to turn into shepherds pie, sausage chilli and a roast – fit for freezing.

I’ve made the shopping list for home delivery – I’ve got a head stuck in my pelvis, jabbing at nerves, the internet is my friend today – and the house is beginning to look like we recently acquired a cleaner instead of the kittens currently ruining my trousers and sucking (yes, sucking) on my hoodie string.

I’ve even done ALL the laundry. Except for the handwashing. But hey, I might even end up doing that, who knows?

The creature’s room is sorted (well, the stuff is organised in the drawers now and the whole shebang is clean), we’ve almost gotten to grips with the reusable nappies and the sling and I keep joking that the baby’s coming today. I told you. Loca.

But the real insanity is that I keep worrying about whether I can feel the creature move. Every now and then I lie on my side, drinking something or poking her to get some movement going.

Maybe I would have felt like this anyway but with all of the excitement last week and its resolution, I keep worrying that maybe we’ve got it wrong. Meanwhile, the itching gets worse, leading me to draw blood all over my body (nice!) and adding a few more wakings to the night.

The thing is, though I joke that she’s coming today, I really wish she would. After everything that’s happened, I no longer feel like my body is the safest place for her. I want to be able to see her.

[she/her] • writer • unschooler • team Soul Farm • Revillaging podcast • breastfeeding counsellor • Trinidadian in Cornwall

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  • Reading this is like reading my diary from this time last year. You are feeling exactly the way I felt. In the end Frog turned up 12 days later than planned – but the house was immaculate and I’d even had time to knit her a blanket. I know patience is the last thing you have at this point, but it really is the only thing to keep you going at the end. Oh, and apparently it’s normal for babies not to be so wriggly just before they make their appearance – I certainly found that was the case with Frog.

    Good luck – I really am so excited for you! x

    • Ah, patience. That I would get some! That’s the thing, I know she’s running out of space so would be moving less but the midwife and doctors keep telling me to keep an eye and make sure she’s moving ‘normally’ (because of the threat of obstetric cholestasis) but it’s at a point where I don’t know what moving normally should be. I can only presume, she is moving therefore it’s ok. Thanks, hon!

    • Haha! It’s appreciated! Still around two weeks til the due date though! I wish all the medical professionals I’ve been seeing would stop teasing me though. They keep on hinting that things are moving along faster than expected without really committing to anything. I bet this means she’ll be late. 

  • You sound like you’re good and ready!! It’s hard to get your head thinking or feeling about anything else – the whole WORLD revoves around ‘when the baby comes’, I reckon!!
    Really looking forward to hearing of her arrival, all in due course! At least you’re ready now…Hang onto your sanity!! Love you xx 

  • Eek!  Came over from the MADS (congratulations!) and am now in a panic. I think we must pretty much have the same due date (I’m 38+5 today) but I have NOTHING ready! No hospital bag packed, no meals prepared, the car seat is in the attic, the crib ditto, the baby’s room is still being slept in by his biggest sister while the builders finish building her new room… oh, and the kitchen’s a building site too!  And instead of nesting, here I am, blogging instead (tonight’s task was supposed to be the bag, but that’s in the attic too and I can’t face climbing up there).  So if you can send some of that nesting urge this way that’d be great!

    •  Congratulations to you too, Harriet! To be honest, up to a few days ago I didn’t have any of that done. A lot of what’s propelled me has had to do with having a health scare which led us to be booked in for induction this past Monday – and nothing would have been ready! In the end the induction didn’t need to happen but it just made me realise that you just never know and it would be great to not be worried if something did happen! Won’t send any nesting vibes your way because I think that when women are as pregnant as we are, they should be totally devoted to relaxing! 🙂