The pregnancy test

No, we’re not trying.

Now wouldn’t be a good time. I’m on domperidone for two or three more months to keep my milk supply up and though the research on its effects on a fetus are not conclusive, I’m not willing to take the risk. That’s why I’m testing though, just in case I catch an early positive so I’d stop taking it.

So why was I a little disappointed with the negative result?

Maybe I’m getting into the swing of things with Talitha and life has become a lot easier. So I’m free to daydream a bit about having a second child.

Maybe it’s because it’s easier to think baby when you’re in the baby phase.

Maybe I just want to complete our family and get all the nappies and broken nights done with in one go.

Maybe I’m surrounded by too many pregnant announcements and being offered to hold too many newborns.

Maybe I enjoy having a small age gap between my brother and me and can see that much wider one is likely between my two.

Maybe I’m overly optimistic.

Maybe I’m crazy?

[she/her] • writer • unschooler • team Soul Farm • Revillaging podcast • breastfeeding counsellor • Trinidadian in Cornwall

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  • maybe you just thought it was as good as time as any!! there never is a right time, just a will will make the best of this and get on with it situation i think. good luck for when that time comes xx

  • I’m so broody right now too, it’s like a really strong physical urge! But we just can’t have a baby at the moment with my job and the house isn’t big enough for another child so we have to move first. You should go ahead and have one, so I can live vicariously through you for now! xx

  • I’ll freely admit that I find the baby stage very difficult and the toddler phase much more fun. But even though now we have a second and we’re 99% sure that our family is now complete, I still find myself feeling a little broody for another tiny baby now that mine is growing up so fast. I think it’s probably natural that when you start to find it easier with the smallest that you begin to imagine how you would get on with another.

    Whatever age gap you have between children will be the perfect one for you. I found the gap we have, 2 1/2 years just right, as my oldest was just about old enough to understand but not so old that he was jealous. But then you never know what it would have been like if it was different, and there are advantages to getting the baby stuff out the way all at once!

    Best of luck with however it works out for you 🙂

    • I have so far found the baby stage really hard actually. The fact that this is even on my mind is testimony to us getting into the swing of things. I think you’re right that whatever age gap there is, that will be the right one.

  • Every time I had a negative (even when I really knew I should not be having a baby) I was disspointed.  I think us women are programed to want more babies.

    When the time is right…. hey.

    Mich x

  • I know the feeling 🙂  I’m so glad though that for me it has passed and I’m predicting will never come back again (I’m too old for this schtuff now :).  P.S. My boys are 3 years and 9 months apart and I cannot imagine the gap being any less.

  • Not crazy at all. Better now than later I think so that the age gap is slower. Hubby and are ‘trying’ so I’m on a low does of my PND meds in case so that I can come off it needs be. I reckon I can’t be that more tired than I am now. My son still awakes in the night and started his ‘terrible twos’ before he’s even two! 

    Having another child now will have its challenges no doubt but if you have support, you’ll be ok. 

  • Pregnancy is an exciting time, so full of potential. As you plan more babies in the future then the idea of being pregnant is exciting, then when your not its so much more mundane, is this why ? I have had three babies in five years and when I had a pregnancy scare recently relief was my overriding emotion at the negative result, and yet a small part of me sighed. 

  • I feel the same way. My friend told me she was pregnant last week and ever since I have been really broody. I have even started convincing myself I might be pregnant because I’ve been feeling really tired and dizzy but it’s highly unlikely because i have a coil fitted, plus I am pretty sure I am pre-menstrual. I would feel disappointed too if I did a test and it was negative x

  • You’re definitely not crazy! If you know you want another child sometime, I can definitely see the attraction with getting all the bad bits of newborns out of the way in one go. Plus, there’s a little bit of every mum that just misses the newborn cuddles, despite the fact that you remember how hard it was x

  • My second is now 15 months and I am more than happy with two kids. One of each, lucky indeed. Yet recently it popped into my head that maybe a third child would be a good idea – which really surprised me. The more logical side of my brain quickly took over, but those hormones are powerful stuff…