These are but a few of my mental blanks…

I thought I’d better not come anywhere near this space today. Otherwise the moaning (not the good kind) would be shocking. It started with anger towards my body as I pulled my stiff pelvis out of bed, which only continued when the physio, effectively, bandaged me up so my ligaments would stop playing footsie. The support belt is not as sexy than it sounds.

Then it morphed into anger at my entire being when I realised I’d left my purse on a bus, something I’ve not done since I was an undergrad. I’m sure I’m learning lessons here and when I’ve calmed down enough to get some perspective, maybe they’ll become apparent.

But Lexie at motherporridge distracted me from self-indulgent self-loathing by tagging me in a lighthearted “fill in the blanks”. I’m generally not sure what I think of memes but, what the potroast, it’s a bit of fun. After canceling my bankcards, I read her post and now that I’m getting down to answering them in return, I actually feel far less negative towards myself. Thanks, Lexie!

I am…. a young woman, so young that I still struggle to remember not to refer to myself as a “girl” but I’m constantly worrying that maybe I’m running out of time to start the things I’m meant to do, even if I’m not sure what they are yet.

The bravest thing I have ever done…. is probably to move to another country on my own and stay there. I’m not sure if this is brave but I was 19 and scared but did it anyway so perhaps it counts.

I feel prettiest when…. Laurence looks at me a certain way. I’m cringeing with embarrassment as I admit this. I’m blushing at my laptop screen.

Something that keeps me up at night…. is my own thinker. Not necessarily the worried kind of thoughts. I just seem to be perpetually incapable of switching off automatically. I don’t think this is a problem many men have but that could be because I’m sexist.

My favourite meal is…. curry goat in dhalpourie roti with pumpkin and bodhi. I can’t tell you how many times since I’ve been pregnant I’ve wished I were in Trinidad so I could eat this. Dhalpourie is a kind of bread made with split peas powder and flour and fried. Oh mama!

The way to my heart is…. an hour or two of your time. There’s nothing I love more than sitting with a friend and chatting uninterrupted. These things can’t be bought.

I would like to be… more even tempered. I wish I could spend more time existing in some sort of calm rather than almost always being extremely happy, sad, frustrated or enraged. What is the secret?

I haven’t attempted to be witty. I almost feel like I should apologise for that but I won’t. Go check out motherporridge’s answers and her lovely blog in general.

So, now to tag a few (not all of them mums) of the bloggers I’ve been reading recently so I can mind their business. If any of them have done this Q&A already or don’t “do” memes, I’m sure they’ll not mind you taking a look at their blogs anyway:

Mama – and more, The Dos, The Mom Blogs, Making a Home, My Shitty Twenties, Housewife Confidential

mother • freelance writer • home educator • #revillagingpodcast • breastfeeding counsellor • no dig farm • Trini in Cornwall [she/her]

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