What I’d change about my wedding day

I’d thought a few times that I might take up one of Kate Takes 5‘s Listography prompts but this one was irresistible, not because I’m that fussed about the royal wedding but because it’s an opportunity to relive our own wedding day a little and I don’t know a happy woman who’d turn that chance down.

I smugly tweeted yesterday that I couldn’t think of anything I’d change about our wedding, wondering if it was because it was only a year and seven months ago. But as soon as I’d said it, I knew it wasn’t true. So here are the top 5 things I’d do differently:

1. I wouldn’t get so unbelievably stressed

I am a total stress head – a real worrier by nature. A friend recently said that she imagines I’ll be quite chilled and ‘earth mother’ when the baby comes. This friend clearly hasn’t been initiated into my weekly, nay, daily, stress fest. Laurence, who has to live with me, says that changing this would simply be impossible. But if I could, I would.

I was determined, however, not to turn into ‘bridezilla’ in preparing for the wedding, which, of course, made me paranoid that I might be perceived as pushy whenever I stated even a small opinion.

The night before, I wrung my hands about my father not having written his speech (he was brilliantly funny and moving on the day), that loads of our friends would flake (they didn’t) and that I’d have wind all day (I’m not sure why this was such a concern but my digestive system was just fine!).

All this stress led to me hardly sleeping at all the week leading up to the wedding after having not slept the week before that because I’d been rushing to finish my Master’s thesis (this is one of the things Laurence would change. I would’ve finished my thesis earlier and we wouldn’t have gotten married on a cold September day). I collapsed on our honeymoon and remember the sleep as much as anything else.

2. I’d wear a tighter dress

I loved my lengha but hadn’t tried it on until a couple of weeks before the wedding. My mother had had it made in India and shipped to Trinidad, then she brought it to England. Even though they were told to make it to the exact measurements, it was a bit big and although my mother took in the top, it was not as fitted as it could have been. Of course, it didn’t help that the aforementioned stress fest knocked a few pounds off me. Anyhoo, I didn’t mind it so much but now that I’ve lost my waistline, I kind of wish I’d celebrated it more when it was here!

3. I’d mingle more

For some reason I got really shy on my wedding day – maybe because I’d dressed the part I was being a good Indian bride? No tears though.

4. I’d go back into the church and take a proper look

After all the thought that had gone into choosing the church and the flowers and my mum making amazing pew decorations with Chinese symbols (we’re a mixed race family, in case you haven’t picked up on that yet) I feel like I barely got to see it myself. I was so preoccupied walking up the aisle.

You’d think I would have taken a proper look since we entered the church twice! My father took me in and then took us directly back out so he could tie his shoelaces. I shrugged apologetically to the guests. Photographs help but aren’t quite the same.

5. We wouldn’t have left the reception to Britney Spears’ “Womanizer”!

There isn’t much to say about this except that, should she marry my brother, his girlfriend will get hers at their wedding!

Images by Courtenay Hitchcock

mother • freelance writer • home educator • #revillagingpodcast • breastfeeding counsellor • no dig farm @soul.farm • Trini in Cornwall [she/her]

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