What I’d change about my wedding day

I’d thought a few times that I might take up one of Kate Takes 5‘s Listography prompts but this one was irresistible, not because I’m that fussed about the royal wedding but because it’s an opportunity to relive our own wedding day a little and I don’t know a happy woman who’d turn that chance down.

I smugly tweeted yesterday that I couldn’t think of anything I’d change about our wedding, wondering if it was because it was only a year and seven months ago. But as soon as I’d said it, I knew it wasn’t true. So here are the top 5 things I’d do differently:

1. I wouldn’t get so unbelievably stressed

I am a total stress head – a real worrier by nature. A friend recently said that she imagines I’ll be quite chilled and ‘earth mother’ when the baby comes. This friend clearly hasn’t been initiated into my weekly, nay, daily, stress fest. Laurence, who has to live with me, says that changing this would simply be impossible. But if I could, I would.

I was determined, however, not to turn into ‘bridezilla’ in preparing for the wedding, which, of course, made me paranoid that I might be perceived as pushy whenever I stated even a small opinion.

The night before, I wrung my hands about my father not having written his speech (he was brilliantly funny and moving on the day), that loads of our friends would flake (they didn’t) and that I’d have wind all day (I’m not sure why this was such a concern but my digestive system was just fine!).

All this stress led to me hardly sleeping at all the week leading up to the wedding after having not slept the week before that because I’d been rushing to finish my Master’s thesis (this is one of the things Laurence would change. I would’ve finished my thesis earlier and we wouldn’t have gotten married on a cold September day). I collapsed on our honeymoon and remember the sleep as much as anything else.

2. I’d wear a tighter dress

I loved my lengha but hadn’t tried it on until a couple of weeks before the wedding. My mother had had it made in India and shipped to Trinidad, then she brought it to England. Even though they were told to make it to the exact measurements, it was a bit big and although my mother took in the top, it was not as fitted as it could have been. Of course, it didn’t help that the aforementioned stress fest knocked a few pounds off me. Anyhoo, I didn’t mind it so much but now that I’ve lost my waistline, I kind of wish I’d celebrated it more when it was here!

3. I’d mingle more

For some reason I got really shy on my wedding day – maybe because I’d dressed the part I was being a good Indian bride? No tears though.

4. I’d go back into the church and take a proper look

After all the thought that had gone into choosing the church and the flowers and my mum making amazing pew decorations with Chinese symbols (we’re a mixed race family, in case you haven’t picked up on that yet) I feel like I barely got to see it myself. I was so preoccupied walking up the aisle.

You’d think I would have taken a proper look since we entered the church twice! My father took me in and then took us directly back out so he could tie his shoelaces. I shrugged apologetically to the guests. Photographs help but aren’t quite the same.

5. We wouldn’t have left the reception to Britney Spears’ “Womanizer”!

There isn’t much to say about this except that, should she marry my brother, his girlfriend will get hers at their wedding!

Images by Courtenay Hitchcock


  1. Anonymous
    April 27, 2011 / 11:47 am

    I didn’t get to mingle much either. I spend hardly any time at the evening reception. I still feel guilty about that.

  2. April 27, 2011 / 12:56 pm

    I did mingle but not as much as I hoped. I also did the lose a few kilos and have a looser dress than was planned.

    • April 27, 2011 / 3:16 pm

      I thought the ‘you’ll lose weight before the wedding’ thing was a myth but it’s so true.

  3. emma jordan
    April 27, 2011 / 1:56 pm

    Lol interesting song to leave by. 🙂

  4. April 27, 2011 / 2:57 pm

    Well going by the photo your dress is AMAZING, and you look INCREDIBLE! SO glad you took part. x

    • April 27, 2011 / 3:15 pm

      Thanks! I was so happy that day – I could have been wearing just about anything. Loved taking part. Will keep an eye out for your Listography. 🙂

  5. April 27, 2011 / 3:49 pm

    I’d make the husband make up his mind about many friends we invite earlier. He refused to talk about it until it was so late that none of my friends from Germany were able to come.
    Also, I’d have the top of the dress tightened a little ;p

    Oh, and I would say NO! to the horrible coconut icing on the cake.


    • April 27, 2011 / 4:05 pm

      Sounds like he’s still paying for the err of his ways! I wish we’d been able to invite even more people – granted we started with a list of 25 and ended up with around 150 guests! I think you’re owed a second wedding!

  6. Samera
    April 27, 2011 / 4:37 pm

    I think I might just have another wedding celebration one day (same husband!) cos most of what happened at mine had absolutely no input from me. It would be so much easier this time around because my husband and I know each other so much better, and we know each other’s family better… ooh I’m getting ideas…

    • April 27, 2011 / 7:24 pm

      Dude, you totally should! As long as I’m still invited the second time round!

  7. H Chicou
    April 27, 2011 / 8:04 pm

    i would like to comment, thats as one of the bride’s men of this lovely women, she still remained calm when we told her the day before her wedding, that three of her brides maid ( me being part of it) and the girl who was suppose to do her make up for the big day, had broke down their car, were lost in the highway somewhere in the middle of england, hand planned to take a train through the night and were going to make it just in time for the wedding..

    • April 27, 2011 / 8:22 pm

      Uhh, you’re not a man, Heloise! Also, you were the only bridesmaid in that group – and I was certainly stressed about it! But that was more on your behalf. That too turned out fine in the end though, as most of these things do.

    • April 27, 2011 / 8:29 pm

      Except if Paula was with you (I don’t remember whether she was) then it was two. Serves me right for having so many bridesmaids, eh? 😛

  8. April 27, 2011 / 8:18 pm

    I must second the comment on your really beautiful dress! Amazing. I love your wearing the lengha to a church wedding.

    • April 27, 2011 / 8:31 pm

      Thank you! I tried on ‘western’ dresses but none worked. Made Laurence believe I was going to wear a strapless merang though! Though the henna should have given it away!

  9. April 27, 2011 / 8:24 pm

    Except if Paula was with you (I don’t remember whether she was) then it was two. Serves me right for having so many bridesmaids, eh? 😛

  10. April 27, 2011 / 9:03 pm

    I am getting married this September and because of you I will make sure that I go back into the church to see what it looks like. I will also make sure that I mingle and try to speak to everyone. Thank you x

    • April 28, 2011 / 8:29 am

      Congratulations! You’re welcome – they’re both things well worth doing. Hope you have a fantastic time.

  11. Butterflyexperience
    May 3, 2011 / 3:17 pm

    You look stunning in your lengha! I love how you did somthing different for your big day 🙂

    • May 3, 2011 / 4:26 pm

      Thanks! It was one way of making sure the groom couldn’t guess what I’d look like! My parents joined in the fun and also wore Indian outfits.

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