“You won’t be going to nightclubs after the baby’s born”

One of the great paradoxes I’ve discovered in pregnancy is that while I’m supposed to be “making the most” of the time before the baby comes, I just don’t feel like it.

I’ve lost track of how many times someone’s told me “You won’t be going to nightclubs/parties/late night cinema after she’s born.”

Yeah? You seriously think I’m doing that now? SPD has made me kiss standing for long periods of time, let alone dancing, goodbye. I can’t drink – well, I do have the very occasional glass of wine but, really, I’ll likely sip cranberry juice while you down your pints of lager. By 11pm I’d rather curl up in bed with a book than stick around for the next band, thankyouverymuch.

The night out begins with me ransacking my wardrobe to find something that still fits over the epic mass of my breasts without smooshing them together in the horror that is uni-boob.

Five changes later, I’m livid at the lies my clothes are telling me. But this fit just yesterday, I swear! Skirts cease to cover my arse, tops now show off my burgeoning mid-rift, and nothing, nothing, nothing ever buttons up. By the time I’ve gone back to one of the two pairs of jeans that still fit and one of the three maternity tops my mum bought for me, I’m ready for a therapy session, not a trip down the pub.

Today is Pancake Day in Britain but Carnival Tuesday in Trinidad so in defiance, we're having saltfish for dinner
So, it was with uncertainty that I went with Laurence to London on Saturday for a friend’s 30th. Would it be crowded, would it be late, would I be pathetic? But I was determined to goandhaveagoodtime. And, actually, I did.

It started with getting on to a busy tube and being offered a seat pretty much right away. Then entering the pub and again, someone got up and volunteered their seat. Who knew a little human kindness could go such a long way? We loved catching up with friends and others left early enough for us not to feel like we were spoiling anything by heading off around 11.

I actually think I’m more likely to be up for getting out and about when the baby is in my arms instead of lodged above my sore pelvis. In fact, she’s got a ticket to her first festival this summer. I’ll let you know how that excursion goes.

At the end of Saturday’s night out, I looked at myself in the mirror. I’ve mentioned before that I can’t remember what it feels like not to be pregnant. I said to Laurence: “What if I never stop looking pregnant- even after the baby’s born?” He chuckled at my melodrama and said: “Well then, at least you’ll get a seat in the tube.”

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  • God bless men eh! always know the wrong thing to say!

    my only advice during pregancy is to watch films and at the cinema as this seems to be something you never find time for again!

    good luck

    • Actually, it wasn’t entirely fair for me to mention cinema there as I have been making the most of it, as you say! I’m just not good at the late night showings. Laurence will suggest around 9 or 10 that we go on a whim and I’m usually kind of like “I’m already in my pajamas!”

      I guess I’ll be making the most of mother and baby screenings…

  • What to make the most of before you have a baby?? Where do I begin!! For the early months – you’ll miss going to the bathroom alone, having a shower without listening out for cries. The thing I miss the most is spontaeneity. Suddenly deciding to go out to dinner. Or have friends over. Or go away one weekend. Or pop out to the shops to get a pint of milk. Those are the things I think that you should really max out. And reading books! I have gone from reading 2 a month to reading 2 in two years! I’m just too shattered at the end of the day to focus. It will be a wonderful, incredible time, and right now, you don’t want to push yourself, and of course you can still go out later on – but in the back of your mind you will know that a little person will require you to be on call first thing in the morning! So enjoy lie-ins and do things on the spur of the moment while you can! xx

  • Only one word (from my long-ago memories of being pregnant) separates pre and post pregnancy – SLEEEEPPP!! Even given the fact that in the last month or two (pre-baby) sleep is a) interrupted by numerous bathroom visits b) well nigh impossible to get into a comfortable position, it still pales in comparison to the sleep-deprivation that occurs post-baby….at least that is my memory of things! Perhaps time has distorted – maybe magnified tenfold – my main memory of new parenthood: being willing to trade anything – yes, pretty much ANYTHING! – for a decent night’s sleep. I remember being so exhausted that if I sat anywhere long enough, I would fall asleep – and yes, I did fall asleep on the toilet! 🙂

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